There comes that period after every dark one where broken parts of yourself starts rebuilding. Trust that was once obliterated seems to rebuild itself gradually like a healing wound. People aren’t so bad now, your life isn’t so bad now and frankly, you aren’t so bad now either.
But fear reminds you. It reminds you of the potential and the risk of letting yourself out again. Fear speaks, “Willing to let yourself be vulnerable just to feel something again little boy? Do you realize you could go back to the dark hole you just came out of ?”
Fear, a special dish made up of distressing events from your unfortunate past, never really gets digested. If only we can all be so lucky to avoid this revolting dish shoved down our throats by reality.
But then, perhaps, the right amount of fear can keep a man sane.
As well as logical and in line.
Fear keeps a man vigilant.
Perhaps we should embrace it.
You soon realize.. fear will never leave you. The indigestion starts acting up whenever you can find an ounce of happiness. That is when you tell yourself, it might be better to ignore its existence at times. The existence of fear. After all, being happy is dangerous but short and it should be.
So I shall keep this ounce of happiness that I’ve found. For now.. I’m doing alright.